We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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