dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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