Don't you send me to vm
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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