I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
