is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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