So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
so much tequila, so little girl.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
