so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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