I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My vagina just clenched in fear
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
