I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
