And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
