She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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