The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
