I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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