My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
