Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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