Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
