apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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