you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
What did we do last night that was yellow?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize