I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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