Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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