yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
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my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
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I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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