we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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