He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Randomize
