My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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