Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
