Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think my vagina is haunted
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
