it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
