Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
