I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
