I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
