We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
