My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
