Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
