don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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