My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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