so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
