My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
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I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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