he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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