I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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