matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize