i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
