just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
