I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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