We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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