Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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