Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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