its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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