why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
