I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
