she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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