Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
