remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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