check it out our google latitudes are spooning
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
