tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
God I need to hump something, right now.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
