I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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