If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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