Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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