Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
A+ Viking dick
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
