i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
