A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
